One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Quote by Groucho Marx
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
No man goes before his time unless the boss leaves early.
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...
Home is where you hang your head
Do you mind if I don't smoke ?
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.