I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Cities Quotes

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf...

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.