I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Quote by Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...
Blood's not thicker than money.
I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...
Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas...
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.