I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Humor is reason gone mad.

Humor is reason gone mad.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

When you think of the huge uninterrupted success of a book like Don Quixote, you're...

When you think of the huge uninterrupted success of a book like Don Quixote, you're...

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows