Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...

My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...