Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes, Hollywood Quotes

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And...

Room service? Send up a larger room.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.