My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Mothers Quotes

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my...

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began...

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly...

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be...

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be...

Ours is the age of substitutes: instead of language, we have jargon: instead of principles,...

Ours is the age of substitutes: instead of language, we have jargon: instead of principles,...

Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in...

Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in...