Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Funny Quotes, Women Quotes

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Having a thirteen-year-old in the family is like having a general-admission ticket to the movies,...

Having a thirteen-year-old in the family is like having a general-admission ticket to the movies,...

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

The surest sign of age is loneliness.

16 years ago my cousin abused me, now he is inviting me to his wedding.

16 years ago my cousin abused me, now he is inviting me to his wedding.