My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the...

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff...

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can...

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have...

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I intend to live forever, or die trying.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.