My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Groucho Marx Quotes

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to...

Home is where you hang your head

Home is where you hang your head

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying...

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow...

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Dont ever underestimate the importance of money. I know its often been said that money...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill...

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill...

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use...

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use...