Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
Quote by Groucho Marx
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog...
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Humor is reason gone mad.
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually...
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I...
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.