Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Quote by Groucho Marx

Topics: Justice Quotes, Military Quotes

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I...

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into...

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy

Go, and never darken my towels again.

Go, and never darken my towels again.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and...

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was...

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.