I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

What a nice night for an evening.

What a nice night for an evening.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...