There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand...

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

How young can you die of old age?

How young can you die of old age?

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...