https://quotes-lover.com/wp-content/themes/ql18/img/social/facebook.pnghttps://quotes-lover.com/wp-content/themes/ql18/img/social/twitter.pnghttps://quotes-lover.com/wp-content/themes/ql18/img/social/google-plus.png

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

,

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

,

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...

How young can you die of old age?

,

How young can you die of old age?

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran...

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...