Hermits have no peer pressure.
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...
So, do you live around here often?
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who...
I don't exaggerate - I just remember big
The veracity which increases with old age is not far from folly.
My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I...