I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Friends Quotes

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...

So, do you live around here often?

So, do you live around here often?

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.