I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Friends Quotes

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they...

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear...

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms...

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms...

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Hermits have no peer pressure.