Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

How young can you die of old age?

How young can you die of old age?

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel...

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...