So, do you live around here often?
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.
Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went...
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus...
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses...
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up...
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...