So, do you live around here often?
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...
If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth,...
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...
I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the...
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit...
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.