Home
Quotes
Picture quotes
Random
Facebook Covers
Home
Quotes
Picture quotes
Random
Facebook Covers
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Quote by Steven Wright
Topics:
Steven Wright Quotes
Related Quotes
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm...
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms...
What a nice night for an evening.
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches...
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
So, do you live around here often?
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He...
If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He...
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
At one point he decided enough was enough.