If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
Quote by Steven Wright
Steven Wright Quotes
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave...
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Hermits have no peer pressure.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the...
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to...
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.