It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Quote by Steven Wright

Topics: Steven Wright Quotes

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full...

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

At one point he decided enough was enough.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, Did you sleep good? I...

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney.

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I went to a restaurant that serves reakfast at any time. So I ordered French...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to...

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and...

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens...

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar...

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...

I saw a bank that said 24 Hour Banking, but I don't have that much...

The country is governed for the richest, for the corporations, the bankers, the land speculators,...

The country is governed for the richest, for the corporations, the bankers, the land speculators,...

I hate banks. They do nothing positive for anybody except take care of themselves. They're...

I hate banks. They do nothing positive for anybody except take care of themselves. They're...