What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves...
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...
One woman I was dating called and said, 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I...
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician...
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's...
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was...