My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came...
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and...
I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.