Quotes about Rodney Dangerfield

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

#Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

#Rodney Dangerfield

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

#Rodney Dangerfield

I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician...

#Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...

#Rodney Dangerfield

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

#Rodney Dangerfield

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

#Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately,...

#Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...

#Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

#Rodney Dangerfield

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

#Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....

#Rodney Dangerfield