Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Topics: Arguments Quotes

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...

I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody...

A girl phoned me the other day and said ... Come on over, there's nobody...

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or...

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or...