Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Topics: Arguments Quotes

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and...

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then...

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the...

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting...

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting...

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both...

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both...