Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex...
Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never...
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's...
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician...
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves...
I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and...
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came...
Children learn to smile from their parents.
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
I dream for a living.