Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Topics: Arguments Quotes

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -...

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -...

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a...

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a...

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.'...

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...

Life is just a bowl of pits.

Life is just a bowl of pits.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

Seeing the first question on a test and thinking, 'Yup...I'm screwed.'

Seeing the first question on a test and thinking, 'Yup...I'm screwed.'

Remember when you used to watch TV in the Sixties and you'd see Perry Como...

Remember when you used to watch TV in the Sixties and you'd see Perry Como...