Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Topics: Arguments Quotes

I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...

I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how...

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He...

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...

My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told...

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and...

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex...

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or...

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or...

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the...

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the...

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

Life is a warfare and a stranger's sojourn, and after fame is oblivion.

Life is a warfare and a stranger's sojourn, and after fame is oblivion.

City people try to buy time as a rule, when they can, whereas country people...

City people try to buy time as a rule, when they can, whereas country people...