Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Quote by Woody Allen
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
I am two with nature.
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.