He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
I am two with nature.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...