If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Quote by Woody Allen
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Marriage is the death of hope.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!