If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Quote by Woody Allen
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...
You know, it's a long world.
There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.