If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Quote by Woody Allen
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.
How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...
Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love
Marriage is the death of hope.
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...
And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child:...
Wise parents offer criticism only when asked, and then minimally.