I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

To keep up even a worthwhile tradition means vitiating the idea behind it which must...

To keep up even a worthwhile tradition means vitiating the idea behind it which must...

It's like an American tradition. A person gets successful and then he's supposed to change...

It's like an American tradition. A person gets successful and then he's supposed to change...