I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes...

There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes...

A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.

A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither