I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

When my husband kisses my ears. My ears turn me on like nothing else, they...

When my husband kisses my ears. My ears turn me on like nothing else, they...

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.