I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a...

It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a...

I came over here (Hollywood) to act, but it turned out all I had to...

I came over here (Hollywood) to act, but it turned out all I had to...