I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

We grow old more through indolence, than through age.

We grow old more through indolence, than through age.

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am...

There was no respect for youth when I was young, and now that I am...

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as...

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as...

Learn to reject friendship, or rather the dream of friendship. To want friendship is a...

Learn to reject friendship, or rather the dream of friendship. To want friendship is a...