Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Life Quotes

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

I am two with nature.

I am two with nature.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to...

Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to...

Without ambition no conquests are made, and no business created. Ambition is the root of...

Without ambition no conquests are made, and no business created. Ambition is the root of...

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find...

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find...

Immortality - a fate worse than death.

Immortality - a fate worse than death.