Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Sometimes the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes...

Sometimes the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes...

It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read

It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read