Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Poverty Quotes

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

I regard as a mortal sin not only the lying of the senses in matters...

I regard as a mortal sin not only the lying of the senses in matters...

I've always been the breadwinner and men don't like that. They turn on you. They...

I've always been the breadwinner and men don't like that. They turn on you. They...