If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: God Quotes

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

When you're stressed; You eat Ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled...

When you're stressed; You eat Ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....