Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Bad Day Quotes

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Control your time. If you're working off your in-box, you're working off the priorities of...

Control your time. If you're working off your in-box, you're working off the priorities of...

Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of...

Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of...