I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

Sex relieves tension - love causes it.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

I am already kindly disposed towards you. My friendship it is not in my power...

I am already kindly disposed towards you. My friendship it is not in my power...

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.