I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are...

Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are...

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they...

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they...

There will be sleeping enough in the grave

There will be sleeping enough in the grave