I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl...

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

These words spake his parents, because they feared the Jews: for the Jews had agreed...

These words spake his parents, because they feared the Jews: for the Jews had agreed...