I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through...

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.