Seventy percent of success in life is showing up
Quote by Woody Allen
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid...
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad...
People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...