My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...
My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's...
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to...
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or...
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an...
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday...
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came...
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a...
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...
Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.