My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
Life is just a bowl of pits.
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger...
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion....
I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician...
If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.
In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of...
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a...
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex...
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -...
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're...
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and...