I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet

Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

Topics: Hilarious Quotes, Life Quotes

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves...

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and...

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and...

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -...

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous -...

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...

Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time...

My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

My marriage is on the rocks again; yeah, my wife just broke up with her...

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him .... If you don't mind...

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the...

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're...

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're...