I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of...

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?