Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of...
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...
Marriage is the death of hope.
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last...
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
Around every corner lurk greasy Fisherman's Platters that give children nightmares, Naugahyde minute steaks that...
Dear food commercials, Nobody eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people...