Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is...
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my...
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.