I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's...

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or...

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is not something that begins after you're dead. It is going on all the...

Eternity is not something that begins after you're dead. It is going on all the...

Eternity's a terrible thought

Eternity's a terrible thought