I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

Although we've come to the end of the road, still I can't let you go,...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything...

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

We're all generous, but with different things, like time, money, talent -- criticism.

We're all generous, but with different things, like time, money, talent -- criticism.

If I had a large amount of money I should found a hospital for those...

If I had a large amount of money I should found a hospital for those...

A man who has nothing can whistle in a robber's face

A man who has nothing can whistle in a robber's face