I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

Love is the answer, but while youre waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty...

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant...

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant...

The motive power of democracy is love

The motive power of democracy is love