To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is…

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Comedy Quotes, Happiness Quotes, Love Quotes, Suffering Quotes, Writers Quotes

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there...

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much...

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God,...

I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God,...

Morality is of the highest importance - but for us, not for God.

Morality is of the highest importance - but for us, not for God.