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If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil....

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.

Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven.

Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven.

The mother is only really the mistress of her daughter upon the condition of continually...

The mother is only really the mistress of her daughter upon the condition of continually...

If youth knew; if age could.

If youth knew; if age could.