I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Quote by Woody Allen
Woody Allen Quotes
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I...
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only...
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...
Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of...
80% of success is showing up.
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into...
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.