I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set...

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Successful men are influenced by desire for pleasing results. Failures are influenced by desire for...

Successful men are influenced by desire for pleasing results. Failures are influenced by desire for...

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay...

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay...