Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Quote by Woody Allen
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue...
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in...
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue...
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to...
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will...
Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...
The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave...
80% of success is showing up.
I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done...
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that...