Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Advice Quotes

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down....

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go...

Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art...

Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art...

Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but...

Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but...