Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Advice Quotes

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars...

80% of success is showing up.

80% of success is showing up.

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone...

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had...

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

Sex is nobody's business except the three people involved

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...