Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Love Quotes

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get...

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come...

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to...

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one...

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

The age of chivalry has gone; the age of humanity has come.

The age of chivalry has gone; the age of humanity has come.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of...

If only those who dream about Hollywood knew how difficult it all is.

If only those who dream about Hollywood knew how difficult it all is.