I took the speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.
Quote by Woody Allen
Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they...
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must...
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep...
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the...
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
I am two with nature.
Sex relieves tension - love causes it.
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what...
Marriage is the death of hope.