It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Quote by Woody Allen

Topics: Woody Allen Quotes

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to...

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not...

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is the death of hope.

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too...

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by...

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.

If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Pamela Andersons fingertips.